Junior Inquisitor

Junior Inquisitor

Friday, November 6, 2015

Love a kick-ass female protagonist and an interesting mystery? EM Kaplan's got you covered.


Buckle Up everyone while I'm busy doing edits to The Witch's Lair, #3 in the Inquisitor series, Emily Kaplan, a renown author and massive presence on Twitter, has agreed to talk about her heroine Josie Tucker, and Josie's first adventure, The Bride Wore Dead to keep you entertained. And she will.
Subversive hip-hop Ninja
                                       
EM Kaplan is the author of un-cozy, un-culinary Josie Tucker mysteries. The newest snarky mystery, THE CUT-THROAT COED, will be released in 2016. She also has written a fantasy/paranormal series called Rise of the Masks.
EM Kaplan grew up in a part of Tucson, Arizona where there were no sidewalks. Like a tumbleweed, she moved from Massachusetts to California to Texas, and is now settled in northern IL. She's been a Girl Scout, trombonist, toilet-cleaner, beginner ninja, hip-hop dancer, and subversive marketeer.

 
More about EM-
Who am I? These are the basics: I’m a multi-genre author—I write snarky, humorous mysteries as well as epic fantasy adventures. I tweet like a maniac and try to blog weekly. I’m also a full-time office drone, mom, and dance fitness instructor.

                                       

           The Bride Wore Dead: http://myBook.to/BrideWD

            FREE for the first time ever, from Nov. 20-23

Blurb:

Meet Josie Tucker. Food is her life, from her mother’s old restaurant to her newspaper column on restaurants and kitchens. She can soothe any problem with food or drink. Missed bus? Mango-orange smoothie. Mild doldrums? A piece of peppered beef jerky. But lately, she can’t even stand the smell of a watery cup of broth. Being at the mercy of an indignant and vengeful digestive system is no cup of tea.
So what happens when she gets roped into being the last-minute bridesmaid at a society wedding? The bride’s mother tries to kill her with kindness. Too bad for the bride, Josie isn’t the only victim.


Main character's motivations

Josie Tucker is an adult orphan. Kind of. Her dad died when she was in high school, and her mother has dementia. If I were to profile Josie, I’d say she has asocial tendencies, but yet, she has a close circle of friends and is generally well-liked by both acquaintances and strangers. Her doormat says “GO AWAY,” but her friends ignore it.

What is Josie's secret strengths/ weaknesses

Her outward appearance is deceptive. She has one of those faces that makes her look as if she’s intimately involved in whatever’s been shared with her—conversations, casual glances, whatever—on the other hand, she can fade into the background and go unnoticed, if need be. She inspires confidences and the spilling of secrets. She’s non-threatening and can easily be written off by people who underestimate her.

Any philosophical issues in this story? If so how do you address them, how does Josie live and over come them?

The Bride Wore Dead has a couple of main themes, but the one that motivates Josie is her coming to grips with the death of her father, even after all these years—more than a decade. By the end of the book, she’s found a surprising surrogate parent, who may or may not be the best choice.

Any offbeat, obscure, or 80s references?


Uh… Olivia Newton-John in the movie Xanadu. I was a big fan of that movie, but not for the reason you’re thinking. It’s because it had Gene Kelly. I watched a million of his movies when I was little.

When did you start to write this one and why?

I started writing The Bride Wore Dead before my son was born. He’s almost 14 now, so when I was getting ready to publish it, I had to go back and update a lot of things…Like, her lack of a cell phone and some other technological stuff that have become more prevalent since then.

What's next in this series or in your next book?

The second Josie Tucker book is called Dim Sum, Dead Some. It’s a standalone mystery, which means you can read it first if you want. She’s the same lovable, cranky person, but this time, she’s in San Francisco, searching for a missing software entrepreneur named Ivan Sorokin. This adventure takes Josie into Chinatown, Silicon Valley, and even into a burlesque showplace. It’s based roughly on the year I lived in San Jose…except for the burlesque part. Mum’s the word on that.




Preview of your next book?
I just started writing the next Josie Tucker mystery. She’s going back to college undercover, looking into a stalker situation. The working title so far is The Cut-Throat Coed. All I can tell you so far is that the book cover rocks.

When will it be available?

Hopefully, it’ll be out by late spring or early summer. Feel free to sign up for my non-spammy newsletter so you don’t miss it. Here’s the link: http://justtheemwords.com/index.php/subscribe/

Any freebies for your fans?

I just started writing a series of holiday-themed Josie Tucker stories. The first one is free on my blog if you want a quick introduction to Josie: http://justtheemwords.com/index.php/2015/10/19/halloween/
I’m doing a Josie Christmas story next.
Don't forget there's a fantasy/paranormal series called Rise of the Masks.





Add caption


And where can we find these amazing books and more about EM Kaplan?


                Website and blog: www.JustTheEmWords.com


 



As I said earlier, I am editing The Witch's Lair, #3 in the Inquisitor Series, and I should have a few lines ready to share next week. With luck it will be available by Valentine's day, which is good as there is a romantic scene or three in The Witch's Lair Of course since I'm writing them, they are dark, shudder-inducing romance scenes. Be prepared to say "Oh," and "Oh my," at the same time.

Just in case you have not started the Inquisitor series -





                    Junior Inquisitor

         Still just $2.99

          Amazon - http://goo.gl/D6KrbX

      Smashwords - http://goo.gl/XsGgAC

        Inquisitor Series - http://goo.gl/mJtTf8




                          Soulless Monk

         Smashwords - https://goo.gl/NXw3Gr

                 Amazon - http://goo.gl/p9fBn0

           Inquisitor Series - http://goo.gl/5lCyaX

Saturday, October 17, 2015

Prometheus Unchained


                  Welcome to death you POS HTC android phone.

 
Dead at last!
 
Thanks to you I remembered swears I had not used since Afghanistan. You were worthless to me and I'm not sad you tripped and hit the floor at high velocity. Your touchscreen was buggy making turning off alarms damn near impossible. Data retrieval was always a “where is it now” snipe hunt. Screen brightness was so weak that unless it was night, there was no point in trying to read your screen. Your idle time was nearly non-existent, slipping back to a locked state faster than one could read a three word post. Impervious to modification, unwilling to meet my needs, and ready to revert back to annoying factory settings on a whim, I learned to loath you with the power and fury of a Grizzly bear with a rotten tooth. I hoped I had lost you many, many times, but no thief was dumb enough to take you and when I finally went looking, there you were, like an annoying alcoholic second cousin parasitically attached and too self-absorbed in pathetic worthlessness to get the hint and disappear.
 

Yes, you were not paid off, that was how new you were, and it will cost me more money to replace you, but the peace and sastification I now feel with be worth every hard earned penny.
 
It burns and I feel good.

Burn in the special hell reserved for people who talk in the theater. May your designers be flogged through the streets, the executives who approved your creation be demoted to janitorial staff and your programmers never allowed to touch code more advanced than BASIC. Tomorrow I go to the cell store with a smile on my face for I am free of you and your baneful presence.

 
I'm sooo happy!
 









                          So how about some positive news, like -



                           Inquisitor Series

                          http://goo.gl/mJtTf8



Just 2.99 to get your heart racing


5 Stars - I cannot wait to read the entire series in final perfection...during daylight hours. These are fascinating yet terrifying stories written with incredible detail. The reality that Lincoln writes into his fiction will pull you into his world and convince you it's real. THAT is how it becomes so frightening. When horrible things happen, you will believe it CAN and IS happening. Do NOT read these in the evening. You will have nightmares.

Just released!

5 Stars - If you like beautifully written, dark horror that sucks you in and won’t let you go, this will be candy to your soul.


                                                                  

                          Inquisitor Series


                        http://goo.gl/mJtTf8




Sunday, October 4, 2015

My first 5 star review of Soulless Monk





Soulless Monk went on sale 1 October. And while I knew people were waiting to buy it what I did not expect was that some would plow through it like a buzzsaw through butter and then post a review the same day.
 
 
Next we cut butter for our English muffins!
 


The 5 star review:

What a riveting tale of horror and heroism!

Lincoln Farish has a way of scaring me senseless and still not letting me walk away from the story. It is definitely NOT for the weak-minded, weak-souled, or even those with the weak stomach.

The bad guys' hatred of all, including each other jumped off the page and smacked me upside the head. I kept telling myself that it was time to go to bed, and yet I continued to read.

Sebastian is still the angry but innocent monk. Aching still from amusia and the loss of his wife and child, he hunts the bad guys with a desperate frenzy that could qualify as dedication or idiocy.

Can't wait for the next book!!!

To say I'm pleased is a lie. I'm very, very happy.

I did things differently in Soulless Monk than I did with Junior Inquisitor.  Changes include POV, who was the main character, surprises, a couple of nice twists, monster types, and so on. I wasn't sure it would work. I'll admit it, I had some doubts. Perhaps changing things in a series would cause problems, the readers might reject what I'd done. Then there was other issues, could I make the “voices” different for the main characters? Would each person be whole and complete, would they live and breathe in the pages, or just read like a really evil Mary Sue, or Marty Stu? Something straight out of central casting and as real as a cardboard cut out? The concept worried me. When I was done I thought I had pulled it off, but the real test was my audience. People who had paid money to be entertained; where they entertained? Did it meet their expectations?



One review is a start, and I'm sure I will have more soon, the big question is, why haven't you started on the Inquisitor Series yourself?
 
 
 
 
 
 
        Inquisitor Series http://goo.gl/5lCyaX
 
 
 
 
 
 



Junior Inquisitor


Smashwords - http://goo.gl/XsGgAC
 
 
 
 
 
 
Soulless Monk



Inquisitor Series http://goo.gl/5lCyaX
 
 

Friday, September 25, 2015

Cat drag races, Alianne Donnelly wants to scare you, and a spoiler for Soulless Monk


I'm feeling a bit lazy, and quite possibly drunk, so rather than talk about me, I'm gonna let someone else drive the 50 ft. Gerbil of Informative Death I call Farish's Freehold. I'm off to the cat drag races.
 
 
I've got 50 on "Fluffy."

 
Alianne Donnelly is a writer, and not just a scribbler of sad teen-age angsty gals yearning for the sweet love of a weepy beta male paranormal creature. One who doesn't mean to slaughter bus loads of orphans, but is just sooooo misunderstood. Nope. Alianne crafts a story with strings of blood and wrappings of terror.

I'm smiling because soon your liver will be mine.

Alianne is an avid lover of stories of all kinds. Having grown up with fairy tales in a place where it almost seemed they were real, it was no surprise when she began making up her own stories. She loves books, music, hiking, and archery, and won’t shy away from travel and zip lining. Alianne graduated with a business degree and when she’s not off in the land of fantasy, she lives in California.


Who wants to go camping now?

About Wolfen: There is a new world order in place and your choice is simple: adapt or die.

You thought it would be safe in a prison? You've been watching "The Walking Dead."

Man’s quest for genetic perfection has led to the creation of new subspecies. Wolfen were the pinnacle of scientific achievement, redefining the limits of what it means to be human. Their counterparts, in turn, grew into the ultimate predators. Incapable of higher thought, converts were unstoppable in their need to breed and devour, and when they escaped, they brought the world to its knees.

Almost two decades later, humanity is on the brink of extinction and only the heartless survive. Rescued by two Wolfen brothers, Sinna must now brave the treacherous wastelands of North America in order to reach safety and the promise of a better life. But when an unexpected gambit forces them to separate, a genetic advantage becomes a liability, and the worst monsters turn out to be the ones who don’t have claws.

In the game of survival, Wolfen were created to be champions. No longer. The enemy keeps evolving, rendering old tactics ineffective, and the only rule left is to endure at any cost.





Links:

Smashwords – Wolfen by Alianne Donnelly

Barnes & Noble – Wolfen by Alianne Donnelly


Media links:



Book website – http://wolfenwideweb.com


Related book video – https://youtu.be/We5rSRvU2eA

 



Wolfen Excerpt:

Interim

Start Recording…

I thought we had left it behind. I really believed it would all be over. I was so very wrong. This is Dr. Leslie Gerome. I am recording this because someone out there should know what really happened; how the world really came to an end. And it wasn’t with a bang, or a whimper. It happened with the splicing of a single cell. Man tried to become God, and Nature bucked under his command and struck out with unimaginable fury.

They never buried Chernobyl den as I had hoped. I think I died ten times over on the climb up to the surface, expecting the walls to start caving in on me any second. But they never did. No one ever came looking—for it, or me and Sinna—probably thinking the converts were too stupid to make it out, that they would starve to death down there. Maybe they were right and the monsters we created thirteen stories below a nuclear wasteland did eventually die there.

Those extracted, however, did not.

If anyone ever finds this, please believe what I am about to tell you. There is no such thing as an inert, no middle ground for the creatures we engineered. The DNA grafts might be dormant, but sooner or later, they always activate. One way or another. That was why Fukushima den imploded. They never realized how many potential converts they housed together.

The inerts who converted outside the dens are fully viable and capable of reproduction. It has now been three years since the dens shut down. In that time, world governments tried in vain to bury the story with mindless entertainment for the masses, but there is no hiding it anymore. Last night I found a video online of a female convert giving birth and promptly devouring her own young. Conspiracy theories estimate that the converts, or “Grays” as they are called, are reproducing at an increasing rate. Outside of stable laboratory conditions, Grays can develop three times faster than a human and, though they show each other the same ravenous viciousness they display toward prey, they do mate, and they do breed.


End Recording.


Author Links:

Website – http://aliannedonnelly.com

Blog – http://aliannedonnelly.com/blog

Facebook – http://www.facebook.com/alydonnelly

Twitter – @AlianneDonnelly
 
 
 

Alright I'm back, won on several races and did shots with the pit crew. And I've got a bit of info about Soulless Monk, which is coming out 1 October 2015.
That's right you have six days to prepare.

 
 
 
 
Pre-order Soulless Monk now
Smashwords - https://goo.gl/NXw3Gr
                                 
Ready for the spoiler?
Sebastian has gotten on the Bishop's bad side, and needs more training. James needs to hide. In six days you will know what I'm talking about. So preorder your copy and get your blankie ready, cause Brother Sebastian is back!
 
And let's not forget the book that started it all
Junior Inquisitor
Book #1 of the Inquisitor Series
 

 
All your buying options in one location
http://goo.gl/mJtTf8
 
 
 
 
 
 


Thursday, September 17, 2015

Soulless Monk comes out 1 October


1 October Soulless Monk goes on sale





         Pre-order now
https://goo.gl/NXw3Gr



                                                            Smashwords

Smashwords has all the major e-book formats to include Amazon's Mobi. Working on getting it loaded up on Amazon and via Createspace; a paperback version.

Blurb - Brother Sebastian is in trouble. Again. Banished from New England and sent to train with the hyper-violent Hammers, Sebastian wants to atone, but an army of necromancers, battle-mages, and at least one sorceress is seriously messing up his plans. James, former Inquisitor and disciple of Thaddeus, is lurking about, and even with the help of a bunch of heavily-armed Hammers, will Sebastian be to able stop gut-rippers, constructs, lichs...and a newly returned Thaddeus?




Excerpt - Final exams aren’t supposed to be this hard, I thought as I tried to get the fat warlock into the trunk.

Two days ago, I’d been dropped off in the slums of Phoenix with a sealed envelope and a plastic grocery bag of items. I’d watched the van drive off and walked over to a nearby alley to find out what my mission was and what supplies I’d been given. The sun was just short of setting, the buildings giving off long shadows. Despite the lateness of the day, it was still hot. The streets were deserted, for the most part, but that would change soon enough.

The alley was a bit cooler and well littered with refuse and cast offs. I wended my way carefully—to avoid tripping over anything—and making sure there were no homeless present. My clothes would blend in a bit, but no one would be fooled for long.

I took one more long look up and down the alley then squatted on my heels to see what I had to do. After putting down my bag, I tore open the envelope. Inside was a map, and a printed piece of paper with a grainy picture and instructions underneath. I read the mission brief first.

Daniel Aftowsizi, day trader, 35 years old, single. Lives and works at 23 Crescent Circle, Phoenix AZ. Makes twice daily trip to barbershop on corner of Euclid and Baxter, probable front for gambling. Subject is possible warlock. You are to observe him, subdue him, and bring him to All Saints Church, 15 All Saints Drive, Phoenix AZ. Do not cause permanent harm.
After delivery, go to Zola Butte, and get to the top. You have three days.
The map had the house, barbershop, and church all marked for me. The house and barbershop were just ten or twelve blocks apart, but the church was on the other side of town. Neither my current location nor Zola Butte were marked.
 
 
        Pre-order now https://goo.gl/NXw3Gr
 
 
 
 
And just in case you haven't read the first one yet,
 

 
 
Junior Inquisitor Book #1 of the Inquisitor Series



Thursday, September 10, 2015

In the Home Stretch


While the arrival of my book , Soulless Monk, is not quite as important as Arbor Day, it is still kind of a big deal for me.
The holiday no one celebrates
 

Soulless Monk, is busy being formatted, and when that is done I shall load it up into Amazon and Smashwords for distribution. As for Google and Barnes and Nobel, well, they turned out to be more trouble than they were worth, besides Smashwords has formats for all major e-readers. With luck Soulless Monk will be available by the end of September.
 
Coming soon as both an e-book and paperback
 

Part of me now wonders, what to do next? Relax? Count the money as it rolls in, maybe drain the pool so I can swim in my cash like Scrooge McDuck? Nope, the easy part, if writing editing, formatting, and everything else it takes to get a book ready could ever be called easy, is over. Now I have to market.

As soon as I have an exact date of when my book will be available, I will commence with the blog tour. I will continue to tweet daily and update Facebook. Lastly, of course, I will keep writing posts here that go into detail on what is happening. I’m also thinking that about a few contests to coincide with the release of Soulless Monk.

Number three which I will be calling The Witch’s Lair is being edited, or at least when I have time I’ll get back to edits and re-writes. But first of course I need to take a swim in my money pool.

Thursday, September 3, 2015

My review of Waking Wolfe by S.L. Shelton


The difficult part of turning an everyday man into an action hero, or in this case a junior spy, is the transformation. There is a lot of training, changes in attitude and awareness, oceans of knowledge that must be consumed and skills internalized. In short, too much detail to really be able to explain what you learned and did too anyone who has not been there. The difficulty for a writer to describe the process of transformation is just as difficult. It is a balancing act, spend to much time on the change and it gets dull or bogged down in techno-babble, skimp on the change and you might as well say, “And with a wave of his magic wand James Bond created another fully trained, mission ready clone.”
 
No more beer for you Mr. Wolfe!
 
S.L. Shelton has found a middle ground that shows how Scoff Wolfe goes from Techno-geek to CIA asset and more. There is a realness and rawness a visceral truth that Shelton is able to describe to the reader, so that even when Scott is kicking butt, dodging bullets, and fighting for his life, he still believably, a real, regular guy.

The basic plot is Scott has to rescue his kinda, sorta, ex-girlfriend, when right after they have a fight she kidnapped. However this is no “lone man on a mission” trope that we often see in action novels, Scott has a back up computer team, unusual allies and a few converts to help. Standing in the way, agents of The US Government, who thinks he shouldn't get involved, and Russian and Serbian gangsters.
 

But to call it just a rescue story, or pulp adventure, or coming of age story is to absurdly and incorrectly pigeon-hole this book. The hero doesn't get by on one liners and “just happened to be handy tools and weapons,” nor is it a techo-geek's wet dream where despite being nearly blind with-out glasses, allergic to air and everything else, as well as the social skills of a rabid, incontinent, escapee from the loony bin, he still gets the girl, it is, instead, a believable story about a normal guy who rises to the occasion.
 
Waking Wolfe is not this at all
 

Another skill that Shelton has is tying together details that seem trivial in the beginning, but you realize later on had to be there for the story to work, nothing as clumsy as foreshadowing, but hints and clues that you do not realize are there to be examined until you have passed them.

I will be buying the next in the series and enjoyed this one thoroughly.




                        Available at Amazon
                                                        Waking Wolfe



Now for updates on my stuff



The Soulless Monk is just about ready to go to the publishers. I'm thinking the release date will be around the end of the month. I'll know more once it has been uploaded to Smashwords and Amazon.

Of course, I'll need to do a bit of a blog tour to help publicize The Soulless Monk, so if you have a blog and like getting traffic, let me know when you have an opening and we'll do a post to remember.



Junior Inquisitor remains available for just 2.99 and can be found here -


Smashwords - http://goo.gl/XsGgAC