Junior Inquisitor

Junior Inquisitor

Wednesday, August 9, 2017

Amazon is not your friend

David Gaughran says the Kindle store is broken, and provides a plethora of evidence.


But is it broken? I say no. I think he's confusing his needs with Amazon’s needs.
 
 
 
 
To Amazon this is a great thing, even if it's via click farms
Amazon is in the business of moving product as quickly and efficiently as possible at a profit. Let me say that again;
Amazon is in the business of moving product as quickly and efficiently as possible at a profit.
 
There are only so many hours in a day, so manufacturers and content creators who move product will be rewarded and their complaints taken seriously, those who do not will be ignored. The other thing Amazon wants is people browsing their pages, and making impulse buys.

If the number one seller in the category Sci-Fi/ Space Opera is “Captured by The Busty Dominatrix Aliens of Planet X,” Amazon does not care. Amazon is there to sell books and other things, not provide tips on what is or is not quality literature.

Nor do they care where the reviews came from, so long as there are lots of them, as that will encourage more people to pick up a copy, or to check out a different book.

Same with Kindle Unlimited, there is only so much money to go around, the amount set by Amazon, who that money goes to is a secondary concern to moving product for Amazon.

 
Of course there are limits. Amazon will avoid headaches (lawsuits, bad PR campaigns, and so on), which is why they will occasionally clean up posted reviews, sometimes wiping out the authentic with the fake. However, to spend a lot of time focusing on making sure that only ‘good’ books written by honest people, with authentic reviews, are the ones sold, reduces the time Amazon can spend on moving product.

 
Moving product as quickly and efficiently as possible at a profit is Amazon’s raison d'etre.
Forget that at your own peril.
 
Ears burning?
Demons whispering madness?
Block the crazy with Junior Inquisitor, now an audio book
Junior Inquisitor Audible
 
 

 
Want to read in the old fashioned way?
Click on the links and enjoy.
FREE! FREE! FREE! FREE!
Get it free here - Goth Witch of Philly
 
Junior Inquisitor Book One  


  
Soulless Monk Book Two  
 Smashwords - https://goo.gl/NXw3Gr
Inquisitor Series - http://goo.gl/5lCyaX
 
The Witch’s Lair Book Three 
Smashwords - https://goo.gl/MokJnC 
 Inquisitor Series - http://goo.gl/mJtTf8 
 
The Vampire of Rome Book Four




Monday, May 8, 2017

So I need a kilt


Way back in the dawn of time some Civil Affairs soldier (my branch in the Army) officially registered a tartan, the pattern on a kilt.
The Civil Affairs Tartan
As a Scot and a Civil Affairs officer, I was intrigued. I contacted the kilt maker and found out the Civil Affairs tartan is a special order, and will cost ~ 800 dollars.
See how long that smile lasts after you spend 800 dollars
Knowing that the lovely Dr. Farish would stab me for dropping 800 bucks on an outfit that is still not an official uniform. Never mind the fact that I'd wear to terrorize the neighborhood and possibly even the US capital, I had some thinking to do.
Being brilliant like most CA Bubbas, I quickly figured out if I had a sale on Junior Inquisitor, and explained why, I’d have no problem in obtaining the money for my kilt.
Actual Ad

 
Which brings us to today, and this post. Go buy Junior Inquisitor, save a buck, and help me go from sexy to dead sexy.

Junior Inquisitor Book One  

 
 

Thursday, March 30, 2017

A short post about a short story


Looks like spring is almost here. The porch is almost complete, thank you all who bought my books and made this possible. Little girls are out on it almost every night as am I. The Horror Novel with No Name continues. There was a little problem with the lab, and then everyone’s off to the final showdown, which I promise will be a mix of John Woo and The Red Wedding.

Now if I could just figure out a way to throw in the phrase “Blood for the Blood god.” Oh well, best to not mix genres I suppose. Here’s a bit for you to enjoy. Again, remember this is first draft stuff, may not make it into the final version, and will have been edited (by a professional who makes money editing) multiple times.

The brass coupling ‘clunked’ against the hood. Doctor Fitzroy held it fast pushing hard. The crystal shivered and then flowed around the end encasing it, like a fitting. With a nod and a quick tug to make sure the connecting was solid Doctor Fitzroy said, “ready.”

Doctor Simmons was madly typing away on the tablet, fingers smashing into it in a blur, “I’ve got interference,” he said. “Go manual.”

Parts of the boxes had melted and the red glow intensified.

Again, Doctor Fitzroy zipped across the room to where the hose connected to the wall. He turned a lever and said, “it’s on, stand clear.” His hand hovered over a large red button on the wall.

The red glow had intensified and the hood was bulging under the strain.

The hose whipped like an angry snake and carbon black fluid gushed onto the table. It started to fill the hood and lifted the boxes up until they were floating and bumping against the far side.

“Do it,” said Doctor Simmons looking like his puppy had just run away.


Michael Blackbourn likes his stories short, his concepts deep, and his narrators unreliable. I rather enjoyed Roko’s Basilisk.
Amazon - Rokos Basilisk
My only complaint was the story went by quickly. I wanted MORE. Without being all spoilery let me just ask you a few questions. Can you have a happy prosperous government that is not legitimate, i.e. tyrannical rule, one that is not elected or selected via input of the populace?

The threat of violence for failing to pay a fine or keep a secret, is extortion when done by an individual or a group, but is 'legitimate' when done by a government bureaucrat; what’s the difference?

Are apocalyptic zealots looking to be correct in their prediction, or are they looking for more people to convert?

Amazon - Rokos Basilisk
 
One hell of a book for just 25 pages. I will be reading more, and soon.





At the moment, the book is free, so I suggest you grab your copy today.
Feeling a bit stalkery-  https://twitter.com/mikeblackbourn

 
That’s it for me this week it’s a short post about a short story.
 

Ears burning?
Demons whispering madness?
Block the crazy with Junior Inquisitor, now an audio book
Junior Inquisitor Audible

Want to read in the old fashioned way?
Click on the links and enjoy.
FREE! FREE! FREE! FREE!
Get it free here - Goth Witch of Philly
 
Junior Inquisitor Book One  


  
Soulless Monk Book Two  
 Smashwords - https://goo.gl/NXw3Gr
Inquisitor Series - http://goo.gl/5lCyaX
 
The Witch’s Lair Book Three 
Smashwords - https://goo.gl/MokJnC 
 Inquisitor Series - http://goo.gl/mJtTf8 
 
The Vampire of Rome Book Four
 
 

Thursday, March 23, 2017

Your Literary Posse


Sorry for the delayed post everyone, but trust me I think you’ll be fine with the hold-up. The Horror Novel with No Name chugs along, here’s a bit for you (please remember this is first draft, not even edited by me, let alone some who knows how to edit and gets paid to do so) -

“You seem to be here all by yourself Marshall,” Corporal Devins said his voice full of doubt.
“My partner and one other US Marshall will be here shortly.”
“So you wouldn’t object to us looking around making sure everything’s quiet.”
“This is a Federal operation, so what you need to do is leave,” I said crossing my arms. It looked defensive, but it meant my hand was almost touching my pistol. Cinci PD had not been chummy last time we met. Officer Massy was watching me intently ready to follow his partner’s lead. His hand was still on his pistol.
“I’m going to have to call this in,” said Devins.
“Feel free to do so. In your car. Away from here.”

Your Literary Posse
If you are like most Indie Authors you are looking forward to that day when you go - LEGIT. That glorious day when you are so successful as an author, it is your primary occupation. When movie deals are discussed, groupies swoon in your presence, lesser literary mortals weep with envy as you stride past, and, most importantly, your posse is formed and theme music chosen.

Difficult questions that have plagued authors since the days of Cervantes. Before you start to quake in terror at the possibilities, let me illustrate what other authors are doing. Perhaps that will help you decide.

Remember if you are thinking of throwing down to steal another author’s literary mojo, you must go through their posse first. If you are successful, you may be able to have a one on one duel with the boss.

Emersen Lee - Theme - Work Bitch by Brittney Spears https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pt8VYOfr8To

As Emersen is a noted kickboxer, she would be accompanied by overly oiled men who are ready to rumble. Rumor has it this is the least of her mini-bosses.

Find out more here - https://emersenlee.wordpress.com/

Emily Kaplan – Theme - WTF by Missy Elliot

Emily will occasionally teach an aerobics class, and you might laugh thinking, “Sweating to the oldies.” In reality, what you have instead, is a large group of highly energetic protectors who will wear you down into a quivering pool of sweat before taunting you with, “Just five more.” Yes, they will be laughing at you.

Find out more here - http://justtheemwords.com/

R.L. King - Theme - Sentinel by VNV Nation

A prolific author, not much is known about R.L. King other than she is LEGIT, and deservedly so. I have reviewed her books and Magus Stone multiple times here, and here. Given her choice in theme music and her magical using Main Character, I propose her posse would be dressed thusly.

Go ahead, tell her you think her book deserved a one star. Hope your will is updated.
Find out more here - http://rlkingwriting.com/
 

Janey Mack - Theme - Sunny by Bobby Hebb

Classic music for a classic lady. Her posse will be dressed in vintage Rat Pack style. While we may not think much of clean lines and a well-tailored suit, remember these are the guys that used to bayonet Nazis on several continents before hanging out with the Mafia in Vegas. Show respect or prepared to take a long ride into the desert.

Find out more here -  http://www.janeymack.com/

Lucian - Theme - Don't take me for granted by Social Distortion

Lucian also keeps quiet about his appearance. However, rumor has it he lives in one of those lumber-jack-almost-Canada states. Thusly, I propose he'd favor a flannel based style for his Posse.


Adam Dreece - Theme - Heathens by Twenty One Pilots

Being a sophisticated man with a classical education, polished manners, an affinity for Dapper Dan products and a saber that thirsts for the blood. Adam adopts a more classic style for his posse. Again, well dressed and well-mannered does not mean weak. His smile might turn from ‘Happy to meet you,’ to ‘Let’s kill Batman’ in the blink of an eye if you are foolish.

Find out more here - http://adamdreece.com/

Rick Gualtieri - Theme - Paranoid by Black Sabbath

Like most LEGIT authors, Rick is an incredibly decent person. However due to his size, both physically and literary, when Rick enters a room conversation stops. After all he is rocking the Lex Luther look and doing so with style. His posse, rumored to be journeymen authors, are dressed for battle and ready to throw down. Be respectful.

Find out more here - http://rickgualtieri.com/

What about me you ask?

Well I’m not LEGIT, yet, but if I was -

My theme – Lone Digger by Caravan Palace

While it's true I look damn good in a kilt, and make women swoon in my uniform, I look ever better in a suit. If I ever get to the lofty level of LEGIT, my posse will be a modern incarnation of the Rat Pack. Dressed thusly and with my particular theme music no one will be sure if I there for a dance off or a broken-bottle barroom brawl. Both are likely.
There you go. Fine authors, decent people, and dangerous to mess with. You’ve been warned.
 
Want to know more about me via my works?
Ears burning?
Demons whispering madness?
Block the crazy with Junior Inquisitor, now an audio book
Junior Inquisitor Audible
Want to read in the old fashioned way?
Click on the links and enjoy.
FREE! FREE! FREE! FREE!
Get it free here - Goth Witch of Philly
 
Junior Inquisitor Book One  


  
Soulless Monk Book Two  
 Smashwords - https://goo.gl/NXw3Gr
Inquisitor Series - http://goo.gl/5lCyaX
 
The Witch’s Lair Book Three 
Smashwords - https://goo.gl/MokJnC 
 Inquisitor Series - http://goo.gl/mJtTf8 
 
The Vampire of Rome Book Four