Welcome to death you POS HTC android phone.
|Dead at last!|
Thanks to you I remembered swears I had not used since Afghanistan. You were worthless to me and I'm not sad you tripped and hit the floor at high velocity. Your touchscreen was buggy making turning off alarms damn near impossible. Data retrieval was always a “where is it now” snipe hunt. Screen brightness was so weak that unless it was night, there was no point in trying to read your screen. Your idle time was nearly non-existent, slipping back to a locked state faster than one could read a three word post. Impervious to modification, unwilling to meet my needs, and ready to revert back to annoying factory settings on a whim, I learned to loath you with the power and fury of a Grizzly bear with a rotten tooth. I hoped I had lost you many, many times, but no thief was dumb enough to take you and when I finally went looking, there you were, like an annoying alcoholic second cousin parasitically attached and too self-absorbed in pathetic worthlessness to get the hint and disappear.
Yes, you were not paid off, that was how new you were, and it will cost me more money to replace you, but the peace and sastification I now feel with be worth every hard earned penny.
|It burns and I feel good.|
Burn in the special hell reserved for people who talk in the theater. May your designers be flogged through the streets, the executives who approved your creation be demoted to janitorial staff and your programmers never allowed to touch code more advanced than BASIC. Tomorrow I go to the cell store with a smile on my face for I am free of you and your baneful presence.
|I'm sooo happy!|
So how about some positive news, like -
|Just 2.99 to get your heart racing|
5 Stars - I cannot wait to read the entire series in final perfection...during daylight hours. These are fascinating yet terrifying stories written with incredible detail. The reality that Lincoln writes into his fiction will pull you into his world and convince you it's real. THAT is how it becomes so frightening. When horrible things happen, you will believe it CAN and IS happening. Do NOT read these in the evening. You will have nightmares.
5 Stars - If you like beautifully written, dark horror that sucks you in and won’t let you go, this will be candy to your soul.