Junior Inquisitor

Junior Inquisitor

Thursday, July 21, 2016

Narcoleptic Vampire wants to bite you as soon as she wakes up

Sorry for the late posting of this, but have been a bit run down. I think there’s a cold running through the Farish Demesne, and while I don’t get really sick, I do sometimes need to go to bed an hour or two early.  As was the case last night.

The Vampire of Rome is still with my editor, last check she is about 1/3 of the way through what I have sent. I have been, for the most part, working on the finale, and with luck will have that wrapped up here shortly.

There is also a short story about Brother Maurice, which will be out in the not too distant future.
Werebooks - http://werebooks.org/ is run by some friends of mine, they asked if I had a story they could have, which would become public domain. As I have a few short stories taking up computer space, I agreed to let them have one. The others I think I’ll toss in with an omnibus edition, or maybe with the paperback edition of future novels. I’m still thinking about it.

Vampire stories have been told for centuries. Kinky vampire stories have been around for years. There may even be a Rammed in the Butt by a Kinky Vampire by Chuck Tingle out there, not that I’ve read it of course. But how about a vampire with narcolepsy? One that’s being hunted? Does that grab your attention? It should, and Dicey Grenor has a captivating story she’d like to tell you. Take it away Dicey –

Blurb: Ever since vampirism became illegal, the undead have been hunted to near-extinction. So Willow has to watch her back to make sure no one finds out what she is. And that's not easy considering she's a vampire with narcolepsy. Blending in with the nightlife as a fetish performer helps a little. Falling for a patron with a personality disorder, does not.


Remi’s heart almost leaped through his chest with palpitations so loud, it must have been strapped to a microphone and amplifier. Since my finales were his biggest turn-ons, he’d make his way to a private room in back, if one was available, and jack off afterwards. He had enough social grace to do it in private, but at Pit of Hades Fetish Club, he really didn’t have to. Here, there was no shame, no taboos.

Considering how often I’d performed sex and death scenes with guns, nooses, and swords, you’d think the audience would be ready for anything. But they gasped and screamed, and in some cases vomited, when I plunged the dagger’s stainless steel blade into my chest. They’d known it was coming, yet they were still horrified and awed. And ready to fuck.

But it wasn’t an act.

I grunted on impact. It hurt like a son-of-a-bitch, but I’d heal. Realism was most important in pulling off a death scene, after all.

Once I withdrew the dagger, I plunged it again, and then again, grunting from pain each time the blade went into my chest. The sound of the hilt slamming into my skin repeatedly seemed to echo throughout the club.

Slumping forward, I let my blood run down the sides of the coffin onto the floor, taking comfort in knowing Remi would replenish it later. I kept falling until I slid to the floor in a heap.

Bright flashes went off left and right as people snapped pictures. Security was everywhere frantically grabbing cameras, admonishing patrons. This was a no-photo-taking establishment unless you paid the club’s photographer to take authorized still shots of or with entertainers in the designated booth. Performances were never recorded or photographed due to graphic content and patrons were never filmed unless they consented. The owner’s respect for privacy gave patrons freedom to let their hair down and enjoy whatever deviant sex they were in to. Everyone knew the rules. You didn’t get in without an invitation, signed contract and approved membership…and definitely no cameras. Violators had their memberships revoked immediately.

I liked the rule. It prevented patrons from having incriminating evidence of my supernatural powers. So far, everyone assumed I used fake blood and props. Didn’t want anyone to start thinking otherwise and having proof to boot. They’d wonder how I recovered from fatal wounds night after night. I could be practicing witchcraft or be some other legal supernatural being. But if anyone happened to suspect I was a vampire, I would be clawing myself from a pile of shit as deep as the Grand Canyon with nothing but a fingernail file as my tool.

Suddenly, I felt strange. My fingertips numbed, my tongue dried. I began trembling and feeling light-headed, but I wasn’t alarmed. It wasn’t a reaction to me stabbing myself. It was my illness, my body’s inability to regulate its sleep cycle. My narcolepsy with a side of cataplexy was about to carry me away to a deep, short sleep.

Considering I was at the end of my set, it was good timing.

Hades was silent again as the audience held its breath.

I inhaled deeply. Exhaled completely. Exaggerated several more deep breaths then spasmed wildly for the sake of dramatizing my finale, my death.

Then, as if on cue, darkness engulfed me and my narcolepsy put me to sleep.

 When I awoke a short time later, the first thing I noticed was standing applause, cheering, whistling. Next, I noticed a commotion at the corner of the stage. Punch, Hades’s head of security, was dragging Remi back to his table, threatening to put him out. Remi’s jeans were undone and blood was smeared all over his arms and face. My blood.

Remi had been a regular Saturday night patron for over a year and knew it was against the rules to touch performers while we were onstage. I just hoped he didn’t make Punch put him out of the club. Or make Punch beat him so badly I wouldn’t be able to take blood from him later.

Punch was a huge Godzilla-size dude, nearly seven feet tall with biceps as wide as fucking watermelons. His smooth dark chocolate skin emanated a wild animal don’t-fuck-with-me warning scent. And though I didn’t know what he was exactly, I knew what that meant. It meant Punch was not someone Remi wanted to fuck with.

I felt famished and Remi was supposed to be my dinner tonight.



Dicey Grenor is a wife, mother, attorney, and fearless writer, who tackles complex, taboo subjects from the perspective of quirky, compelling characters. She frequently crosses genre boundaries with unpredictable plots, and mixes darkness with comedy for the fun of it. Her ideal reader is open-minded and loves diversity in fiction. Fans of shows like Penny Dreadful and other dark, twisted works, may enjoy The Narcoleptic Vampire Series, a set of multicultural, erotic urban fantasy books. Please visit her website at: www.diceygrenorbooks.com to learn more.

Twitter @DiceyGrenor

Instagram @DiceyGrenor


Main Character's motivations
Sleepy Willow is mainly motivated by a desire to grow past previous hurts and abuses, and to help others who have suffered as well.


What is her secret strength/ weakness
Willow's secret strength is her ability to be empathetic, even as a vampire. Her weakness is that she is too trusting, until she learns she can't be. Everyone has secrets. Hers are mild and harmless in comparison.


Any philosophical issues in this story? If so how do you address them, how does Willow live and over come them? There is a layer within the story that deals with philosophical issues, and I'm pleased when readers point out that they noticed. I won't spoil the plot by mentioning them, but Willow overcomes these issues by keeping an open mind and surrounding herself with people she can learn from.


Any offbeat obscure or 80s references?
Some of the music mentioned is from the 80s, and probably some of the dialogue...since I'm old. There's plenty more "weird" stuff, since I tend to like things that aren't considered mainstream.


When did you start to write this one and why?
I started and finished writing SLEEPY WILLOW'S BONDED SOUL (The Narcoleptic Vampire Series Vol. 1) in 2011. I'd always wanted to write a vampire story, since that was my favorite creature of the night, but I wanted something unique for a saturated market. During a conversation with my hubby, we came up with an outrageous storyline, and I started writing it immediately.


What's next in this series or in your next book?
SLEEPY WILLOW'S REDEEMED SOUL (The Narcoleptic Vampire Series Vol. 4) will be released within the next few months. It is the next book from Willow's perspective after a hiatus that included several years of writing other characters.


Preview of your next book?
I will have Chapter 1 up on my blog soon. Don't want to spoil the surprise yet.


When will it be available?
Between you and me...I'm aiming for late September.

So if you like a bit of zest with your Vampire stories, as well as some humor Dicey is your go to author. Check out her books.

Now if you want to walk on the dark side, check out what I’ve got for you -

Junior Inquisitor Book One  
Inquisitor Series - http://goo.gl/mJtTf8
Soulless Monk Book Two  
 Smashwords - https://goo.gl/NXw3Gr
Inquisitor Series - http://goo.gl/5lCyaX
 The Witch’s Lair Book Three 
Smashwords - https://goo.gl/MokJnC 
 Inquisitor Series - http://goo.gl/mJtTf8

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